


Nirvana

by heartandseoul (tokyolights)



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alcohol, Boys Kissing, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-29
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2019-02-23 11:47:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13189428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tokyolights/pseuds/heartandseoul
Summary: They couldn't be farther from each other if they tried, but the two were paired up to be roommates. At first they didn't get along. Taekwoon would get mad when Wonshik had his midi pad settings too loud. Wonshik would complain when his manuscripts got confused with Taekwoon's short stories. They couldn't stand the sight of each other until someone recommended watching Soul Eater. Then they became friends, binge watching fifty-six episodes over their spring break instead of going home like most kids would. That was the moment Wonshik was proud of.When he made a friend of Jung Taekwoon.





	Nirvana

Taekwoon's lips brought Wonshik to nirvana. 

There was something about their subtlety, the way they melded ever so beautifully against his own. Although they were thin Wonshik knew he could leave bruising  kisses on Taekwoon's lips. They were poison. Sweet, sweet poison he'd die from rather than give away. When Wonshik realized he loved Taekwoon's lips on his own they were six bottles of wine in and Wonshik ended up needing something stronger. 

It was all Taekwoon's idea. 

To watch  movies, eat microwave dinner, and to get drunk at home. It was all Taekwoon's idea. He didn't quite like the large crowds  associated with clubbing and whether or not they went they'd end up right back in Taekwoon's apartment anyways. So it didn't matter where it happened, just as long as it happened was fine for him.Taekwoon and Wonshik hadn't been in close quarters together since their college days. Wonshik was a fresh faced music comp major and Taekwoon was a literature major. 

They couldn't be farther from each other if they tried, but the two were paired up to be roommates. At first they didn't get along. Taekwoon would get mad when Wonshik had his midi pad settings too loud. Wonshik would complain when his manuscripts got confused with Taekwoon's short stories. They couldn't stand the sight of each other until someone recommended watching Soul Eater. Then they became friends, binge watching fifty-six episodes over their spring break instead of going home like most kids would. That was the moment Wonshik was proud of. When he made a friend of Jung Taekwoon.

That was besides the point and Wonshik gradually forgot to be giddy as he took in the familiar things about Taekwoon's house. 

The black dining room table, the black chairs, big flat screen. _I guess that's what being a big hotshot writer does for ya huh,_ Wonshik thought. Wonshik didn't even recognize all those things at the time he was in Taekwoon's house. When looking back Wonshik  remembered how blue the wine glasses they drank from were, how he compared them to Taekwoon's pale skin, and how fast they finished the first bottle. It took twenty minutes. Five to pop the cork and fifteen to drink. As Wonshik  opened the next bottle he heard Taekwoon shuffle across the hardwood floor for a DVD from his extensive collection he'd had since the two were in college together. Most were in Japanese with very minimal in Korean other than Train to Busan.

"Ya Wonshik," Taekwoon called his attention, "Whaddaya wanna watch?"Taekwoon gave him too many choices. He has a whole bookcase full of DVDs and asked Wonshik to pick something? That was just not possible.

"Anything is fine with me," Wonshik replied.

Wonshik made himself comfortable on the couch, situating himself between the armrest of the couch and the throw pillow he’d been laying on. Earlier Taekwoon had handed him a blanket, a blue blanket that Wonshik remembered from the times they had to sleep in the same bed because their roommates sexiled them. It was a memory he was fond of. They got to know each other better and watch anime together and everything was good.

 

"So..hm, how about," Taekwoon drawled out, "This? Hana Yori Dango?"

"Isn't that basically Boys Over Flowers?"

Wonshik knew the answer, he just wanted to be a pain in the ass. Hana Yori Dango’s literal Japanese translation was Boys Over Flowers, Wonshik knew that, but he wanted to have some friendly banter with Taekwoon. Taekwoon shuffled over to the DVD player, fiddling with the DVD case as he sassily answered Wonshik’s question. 

"Yeah but it's the Japanese version. And it's the anime. Have you seen it?"

"No."

"Want to watch it? At least the first episode? If you get bored we can-"

Wonshik also remembered how Taekwoon got scared he’d blab on and on about things that didn’t matter. This was the perfect example of that, Taekwoon was afraid of what Wonshik was going to say so he’s trying to appeal to Wonshik. It didn’t matter, Wonshik would watch anything if it meant spending time with someone he cared about. But still, Taekwoon persisted. 

"Sure, why not? Just the first episode okay? Then I'll pass my judgement."

Wonshik  filled their glasses to the top with wine, Taekwoon going to put the DVD in the DVD player before sitting down. He missed this, the feeling of being together with Taekwoon. It was something he craved since Taekwoon left.

“You don't mind if I lean on you right Wonshik?" Taekwoon asked, sitting himself in the seat right next to Wonshik. He simply nodded. Wonshik didn't mind. 

Wonshik smiled, breathing in the scent of Taekwoon that he was all too familiar with. You know, Wonshik was always a bit too chicken shit to tell Taekwoon how he felt. He didn’t feel as if it was all that necessary considering the fact that Taekwoon was leaving and, at the time, Wonshik was too preoccupied with studying to even consider a relationship.

In a way it was his fault that they weren't as close as they could've been.

There was no doubt in Wonshik’s mind that Taekwoon was a handsome man. He stood tall, and had this mysterious aura to him. Wonshik loved that about him simply because it contrasted his personality so well. Taekwoon was the serious one while Wonshik was the casual guy. 

Of course, Taekwoon wasn't always cut from stone. He liked to have a good time and be around Wonshik and Jaehwan, even Hakyeon who was a bit too wild for Taekwoon’s taste. Taekwoon wasn't always so serious and emotionless all the time and Wonshik didn’t have time for it..

And that was the wedge in the friendship. 

When Taekwoon attempted, and  _ boy  _ he attempted, to get close to Wonshik and have fun there was always this tension. Whenever Taekwoon tried to express his feelings to him there was tension. This kind of stress that made it hard to try and stay close. It wasn't Taekwoon’s fault that they were like that. Wonshik didn't believe in trivial things like relationships when he was trying to become a composer. And when Taekwoon left in the spring, Wonshik was too caught up in projects and finals and thing that drove Taekwoon away.

And it wa _ s his  _ fault.

“Ya ya ya this is where Tsukushi gets her red card from the F4 guys,” Taekwoon said, tapping Wonshik’s leg, “Wonshik-ah pay attention.” Wonshik shaped out of his daze, looking at Taekwoon and then paying attention to the screen. He couldn't quite keep himself focused. He was staring at the screen, watching the animation sequences, hearing the words, but not actually paying attention to what they were saying. 

He didn't know what it was, but Taekwoon was bright. He was radiating warmth and happiness, leaving Wonshik hyper aware of everything he did. Every movement of Taekwoon’s hands against his leg, every self-repositioning Taekwoon made to keep himself comfortable, Wonshik was registering it all at once. And he couldn't focus. He got another drink, something stronger this time to mask the feelings he was having. 

_ What’s wrong with you Kim Wonshik,  _ he thought as the taste of soju glided down his throat,  _ ah you’re gonna make a complete ass of yourself. I already know it. _ The other bottle of soju, heavy in his hand, was given to Taekwoon of course.They were mutually trying to get pissfaced and it wouldn’t be fun if it was just Wonshik by himself. Taekwoon opened the bottle, glasses of wine long forgotten as they drank soju, watched TV and had a grand old time. Wonshik could feel himself get drunker and drunker by the minute. 

He could also feel himself getting warmer and warmer by the minute, unsure if it was because of how close Taekwoon was to him, the impairment from the drinks, or the fact that he wore a full on jacket in the middle of the summer. All Wonshik knew was that as he drank, he felt warm. And he didn’t necessarily count that as a bad thing. 

“Wonshik-ah are you okay?” He heard the TV pause, registering that he was probably very obvious at this point, and felt Taekwoon’s eyes on his own. He registered that he was probably making a fool of himself, but couldn't bring himself to answer Taekwoon’s question without babbling so he kept his mouth shut. He kept his mouth shut and let his eyes wander to a part of Taekwoon’s apartment he hadn't stared at for the millionth time today. “Wonshik, are you alright?” He saw Taekwoon bending over to meet his eyes again, so he moved his head again and tried to find another thing to stare at but it was no use. “Yah Kim Wonshik you're gonna tell me what's wrong right now because there is something that’s wrong.” Taekwoon straddled Wonshik’s lap, fierce eyes looking at Wonshik to get some answers. “Now spill Wonshik.”

“I want to kiss you”, Wonshik spilled, “Badly. All you've ever done is try open to me and tell me you loved me and I ruined it despite feeling the exact same way.” Taekwoon was confused, puzzled eyes looking into Wonshik’s. “I know it’s crazy, and you’ve probably moved on. I’ve driven you away and I don’t blame you Taekwoon, I was kind of awful when you tried to get close to me. I’m sorry I was so-”

Taekwoon’s lips were on Wonshik’s in an instant, smiling his small smile as he did so. 

“I’ve been waiting to hear that for five years Wonshik,” Taekwoon smilied after disconnecting their lips, “Five years. Nothing would’ve driven me away from you. I was just waiting for the right time to tell you everything. But I guess I don’t have to anymore. ”

“Yeah, I guess that’s true."

Taekwoon was Wonshik’s nirvana and there was nothing that was going to change that. 


End file.
